Tag Archives: marriage

28 Days of LOVEliness: I asked the girls . . .

So, I realized when I started planning out my posts for February that between Jeremy and I, we have a lot of married siblings!! I have four married (and one engaged), and he has two, so 12 married siblings and siblings-in-law. I decided to ask them a few questions about marriage and share their ideas with you here. Today, I’m sharing my sisters’ answers. Enjoy! And, I’d love to hear your answers to the questions in the comments section!!

blog21. What is your favorite date night idea?

Going out for a nice meal downtown where we can walk afterwards and notice that there is beauty all around us, even in an urban environment.

Any date-night idea is great! Seriously, we enjoy going out to eat, and then doing something simple afterwards like shopping at a fun store, going for a walk, or even just driving around and looking at houses. Mainly anything that gives us a chance to talk uninterrupted!

Outdoor activity…sports, going for walks, etc.

We are pretty simple for date nights, I like taking a game to a coffee shop and playing the game there together.

My favorite date night consists of renting a funny or action packed movie, going to get Chinese take-out, coming home and getting ready for the movie by changing into something comfy (I love pj pants and one of his hoodies) and getting blankets to snuggle in on the couch. We get all wrapped up in the blankets, get our food, and hit play on the DVD.

Well, I’m not a date-“night” kid of person, but my daytime date would be going to the museum, zoo, or new city for a day just to explore.

2. What is something your husband does to make you smile?

Talk in a baby-talk voice to our son when I’m not in the room. Something about hearing a grown man talking to a kid in a baby voice is cute 🙂 

Makes dinner.

Jokes around with me…he cracks me up!

I love when he laughs! That sounds silly, but when he is watching something or says something funny, the way he laughs just makes me laugh, even if I don’t know what he thinks is so funny!

One of my favorite things is when he is really laughing about something he has this belly laugh and then random high squeak comes out. It makes me laugh every time he does it.

I love when he acts silly, or does his happy dance. Makes me laugh every time. 🙂 

3. What is one thing a husband should do every day?

Give his wife a back rub :-). Just kidding. He should hug his wife, tell her he loves her, and that she looks beautiful. 

Say, “I love you,” to his wife and kid(s). And one household chore, any one, his pick.

Kiss and hug his wife and tell her he loves her.

Communicate that you love your wife.

Not just tell me that he loves me, but show me! Know your wife’s love language!

Say something encouraging. Too often we tend to point out flaws or mistakes because they bother us. But when he takes the time to point out where he feels I am doing well, it goes a long way, especially on days when I feel discouraged.

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Thanks so much to Tracie, Angie, Lauren, Juana, Rebecca, and Tiffany!!

28 Days of LOVEliness: Why Marriage Matters

I wanted to start my series with what I think is the most important thing about love and marriage. This song encapsulates what I think is so important, and yet so beautiful about marriage. It’s a picture, a beautiful picture of a relationship with the Savior of the world. “We bear the light of the Son of Man . . .”

I hope that encourages you this month as you reflect on the meaning of love. It isn’t ultimately about us, so when your husband or your wife messes up or fails you, it doesn’t really matter because you aren’t the end goal. The end goal is giving the world a beautiful picture of Jesus. So . . . with that little reminder, I hope that you spend this month, and the rest of your life, “dancing through the minefields” with your love!

This Momentary Marriage: Review

I pray that we will all recognize the deepest and highest meaning of marriage – not sexual intimacy, as good as that is, not friendship, or mutual helpfulness, or childbearing, or child-rearing, but the flesh-and-blood display in the world of the covenant-keeping love between Christ and his church.

This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence by John Piper was an amazing book. I haven’t read scores of marriage books, but this one is one of the best of the few that I have read. I really enjoyed Piper’s frank approach to several important but sometimes difficult issues in marriage.

I think that sometimes I want to read marriage books that will allow me to think that marriage is about the two of us, and making us happy, and how to make life the fairy tale we wish it were. This book was not that at all, and it was actually a breath of fresh air. It was so encouraging to read because it was constantly reminding me of the true purpose of marriage and why we marry in the first place. Marrying Jeremy was something that I was so excited about, and that has been so good for the last three years, but when you really get down to it, we married because God put us together and because God wanted us to create a picture of the relationship between Jesus Christ and the church.

That relationship between Jesus and the church is not always beautiful. The church turns away, she does things to disappoint her Savior, she fails over and over again, but that never severs the tie between the two. Jesus put Himself out there to redeem the church and to keep her. He has given her a covenant that He will not leave her, and that is a promise that we can count on. In the same way, the relationship between a husband and wife is a picture of this. Regardless of how hard a marriage may be, how painful, disappointing, or unfulfilling it may be, it is not about us at all. Christ does not forsake us when we mess up, when we disappoint Him.

Piper uses this foundation to build his philosophies on other aspects of marriage. He reminds us at the end that we must have the primary things – our underlying philosophy of marriage – down before we can worry about the secondary things. Taking care of the primary leads to taking care of the secondary – not the other way around. So, of primary importance then, is that we understand that marriage is something that God does, and it is something that is for God’s glory. After that we can start to consider how those truths affect money and families and service and careers, but not before.

In this book, Piper addresses biblically several key and heavy issues in marriage. He talks through biblical sex, singleness, hospitality, having and raising children, and divorce and remarriage. The thing I love about this book is that Piper always uses the Bible, and he explains things simply and clearly. He doesn’t fudge or walk around difficult issues, he simply addresses the problems that we face with biblical answers.

I would highly recommend this book for any couple, or a single man or woman as well. Again, I felt like it was a breath of fresh air. It let me take away the responsibility I sometimes feel for making our relationship perfect. That’s not what we are called to, we are called to faithfulness and accurately displaying Christ’s covenant relationship with the church. These are very important issues, especially in today’s Christian marriage sphere. These issues need to be talked about and addressed, and I feel like this book provides a very good foundation for a Biblical philosophy of marriage.

Relish Life

Rock cliffs rising up. Bright sun shining down. Incredible green encasing us. A fantasy world. A world where the only traveling companions are lazy old cows, elderly flies, and scared frogs. Where the dirt paths wind up and down, and up and down. Where the midday call to prayer rings out loud and clear across the valley between the mountain peaks. Where a wrong turn leads you to a comical collection of old people hanging out their windows and relaxing on the deck, no doubt drinking tea and talking about the good old days. Old people with lisps and exaggerated speech, with excitement in their eyes that someone so foreign could get lost on their road. A world with no noises to interrupt the thoughts, and the midday sweat of hard work running down your face.

Are you imagining yet? Keep walking, it’s a long hike, but it’s so close, and way more than worth it! The ground finally levels out, but is still just crawling with green vegetation. Follow the sound of the water, there it is. The old bridge. The bridge that was made of trees that must have lived before Turkey itself was a country! It’s obvious by the swaying and mangled way the boards lie that others have used this multiple times, but that thought does not entirely put you at ease as you look down at the happily churning blue-green water below and feel the wind carry you left and right in a tremulous rhythm above the rocks. Step by step, don’t hold onto the rails too tightly, because a heavy bird might be the end of them, much less your adrenaline filled, tired, and sweaty hands. Cross carefully! It’d be a shame to end here, you haven’t yet met the frogs or touched the cool swirling water. Once you’ve made it, approach the water. Sink your toes into the muck as it gobbles up your feet and argues with you about giving them back. Watch the frogs dive in to sound the alarm that invaders have arrived. The pool is no longer in solitude!

The water is cold, breath-taking, but refreshing after the long walk, and the hot sun. Get in, feel the rush of the current pulling you. Be careful not to twist your ankle in the bigger rocks. Look around. See the mountains towering high all around you, the beauty of the color of the water rushing past you, the lush green filling up all of the space that is not rock, water, or sky. Notice that there is not the sight, nor sound, of another human anywhere. This pool is yours for these few short hours, and you do not have to share with anyone.

Rejoice in the beauty of the Creator, and joy of love together. Relish the adventure of life. This was Monday afternoon in our Black Sea trip this last week. What an amazing memory . . . I am so thankful!

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Let me know a favorite getaway or a favorite anniversary memory in the comments below! Hope you enjoyed a little snippet of our time away!

Keeping it Fun

So, I have been married to the most amazing man for 2 years, 3 months, and 13 days. That’s pretty cool. The last two years, both Jeremy and I have worked or attended the same University. This year is the first school year of our marriage where we have obligations that keep us in different places. As ironic as it sounds, I’m loving it. I love coming home and having different stories to share. I love coming home to a big hug. I love remembering why I married this man, and just sitting and having conversations about things we’re learning or did during the day.

Something that’s been on my mind recently is the importance of making him important. I know that should sound really obvious, but when we are living together, sometimes it is easy to take the other for granted. I don’t ever want to do that. And sometimes, I really fail. But, it is my goal to make him feel like he means the world to me, because he does. Sometimes, I’m not very good at stopping and listening, but it is worth it! The joy of our relationship is so much more evident when we take the time to know each other.

Anyway . . . that’s not what this whole post is about. I just thought I’d share an idea with you that we just did. I really had fun, though I will admit, I might have pouted and ranted just a little (that’s one thing he likes about me, right?) Anyways, this weekend I had a meeting on Saturday for about 4 hours at my school, and then a ton of schoolwork to do for my class. So . . . I wanted to make sure that we spent some time together doing something fun. So, this is what we did:

I chose several different wii games that we have, and assigned them point values. I put lines for the winner under each competition. Next, I had Jeremy choose the stakes. We ended up with CSI: NY, Coke, and Chocolate Chip Cookies if he won, and Gilmore Girls, a massage, and ice cream if I won. Let’s just say I just took the last of the cookies out of the oven.

So, throughout the day I would spend time working on my class, then we’d set a time and play for a while. Jeremy had a meeting this afternoon, so I was able to work some more, and then after he came back, we played some more. It did take us several hours, but we split up the work and the play, and it was really fun. I think we might be doing it again sometime, but I just might have to adjust which games we play. 🙂

Well, I hope that this might possibly encourage you to appreciate the person (or people) you share your home with. What a blessing and gift that we don’t have to live life as lonely people! Enjoy your week! Make the most of the time you have with those you love!